There is a light blanket of fresh snow blanketing the lawn this first morning of 2024. I greet this day, this new year, with hope and enthusiasm.
As so many of us do at the dawn of a new year, I’ve been reflecting on the journey of the last few years. And like many I confess to thinking: “Surely this year will be easier than the last.”
In spring of 2022, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and began the challenging path of treatment. December 28, 2022, with great relief I rang the bell, signifying the end of chemotherapy. I was excited for 2023 even as I knew it would hold more challenges, starting with a bilateral mastectomy in January.
I had no idea what lay ahead…
My sweet mother passed away on her 90th birthday just days after that surgery. I experienced an intense mix of emotion in the days that followed. There was deep sadness that I would never look into her blue eyes again, hold her frail hand or hear her voice. I also felt gratitude; mom had endured Alzheimer’s disease for 15 years, her suffering was finally over. I know with certainty she is a peace now, fully restored in the the Kingdom of Heaven.
The love and support of dear friends carried me as my body recovered and my spirit mourned.
As spring approached my vision suddenly deteriorated significantly. All the steroids administered as part of cancer treatment had caused the rapid onset of cataracts. Over the course of a few weeks I had surgery on both eyes. Cataract surgery feels miraculous! Within weeks my vision was crisp and clear; I no longer needed glasses, just readers. Amazing.
As spring continued to unfold, my dear uncles, identical twins, passed away within two weeks of one another. Again bittersweet emotions as they too had been ravaged by Alzheimer’s.
Towards the end of May I underwent a final reconstructive surgery. I was excited to have completed all the treatments and surgeries and resume “normal” life. I have to admit that I overestimated my available energy and enthusiastically, perhaps unwisely, went back to full time work soon after and threw myself into all my favorite activities. I became increasingly tired.
My heart broke in September when my beloved godmother passed away. And then it all caught up to me. I was exhausted, cried everyday and had a hard time functioning. I was forced to step back, cut down on work and get some rest.
I did recover my energy and bubbly spirit over the remaining months of the year, and in the process learned valuable lessons. I nurtured my spirit with meditation, prayer and therapy while my body recovered and strengthened. I participated in an intense 8 week program called the Grief Recovery Method. This was a program unlike any I’d ever encountered. I learned valuable tools, and emerged feeling both lighter and prepared to embrace whatever might lie ahead.
I am delighted to say that 2023 concluded joyfully. Heartache and fatigue gave way to precious moments with family, wonderful celebrations, laughter with friends and colleagues, cosy quiet evenings at home.
This especially challenging year wrapped up gently with hope shining on the horizon.
The prophet Isaiah offers the perfect pivotal scripture for contemplation this day:
“Remember not the former thingsnor consider the things of old.Behold, I am doing a new thing;now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?I will make a way in the wildernessand rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:18-19 ESV)
And so, as I turn my gaze from the years gone by, and focus on the future, one phrase in particular commands my attention:
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth.
I can feel it, this new thing! Excited energy is bubbling inside of me. A future vision is coming into focus. Goals that were nebulous and difficult to define are crystalizing. Plans that seemed impossible to set into motion are now taking shape. A fresh new planner is ready for me to record it all. Today I will commit my dreams, goals and plans to paper. I’ll even create a timeline for it all.
What about you, my friend? Can you feel this new thing, the possibilities and freshness of the new year?
I pray that you too will feel compelled to turn your gaze from all that is past and focus on the promise of the future.
May you be richly blessed in 2024.
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