This sweet little doll has watched over me from my bookshelf for much of my life. I received her from a dear friend more than 40 years ago. Her felt headdress is tattered, and one arm hangs at an odd angle after enduring being boxed and moved to a new home several times and falling off the shelf more than once. But still, she stands as a lovely representation of the enduring presence of a true friend.
My third-grade teacher had become a dear friend and mentor to me. She saw possibilities in me, that I would not be able to grasp until much later in adulthood. But she saw and believed. When I was just a young teen, she married and move to Italy, and we became pen pals. Neither one of us was particularly good at writing letters on a regular basis so long periods of time would pass without a word.
I felt insignificant as a young person for reasons I still don’t understand. I deeply feared being forgotten, or even worse, abandoned. There is no obvious reason or injury that can be blamed. It’s an unfounded fear that insidiously took root in a vulnerable young soul and exploited the fertile ground there.
Isn’t this the truth about many of the anxieties that plague us? We don’t know why they hide within us, sometimes lying dormant for years before surfacing at a most inconvenient time.
We all long to matter; I assumed I didn’t. I look back through time and realize that I even hid or isolated myself somewhat to avoid finding out the truth. That’s kind of sad, because the truth for me, for you, is the opposite of what I believed.
One day, when I was maybe 15 or 16, sweet Cortina arrived in the mail. I think maybe she was a birthday gift. Dressed in the traditional costume of her namesake Northern Italian home, Cortina is a cheerful presence in my office. The vivid colors of her apron lift my spirits.
Pretty as the surprise gift was, what she told me was most important: I had not been forgotten. Far across the ocean, in a beautiful, culturally rich place, living her exciting new life, my friend had thought of me. That kind of blew my mind!!
What a precious gift it is to be remembered!
I am amazed and delighted that this precious friendship lives on. I have several messages saved on my phone from birthdays over the years. How this friendship has sustained me through the dark moments! My friend was often unaware of the challenges that I faced, but her presence through messages and sweet Cortina, reminded me I was loved and helped me be brave and resilient.
Today, we share a deep connection, and through the miracle of technology, correspond quite regularly. She remains my mentor and encourager. With both my parents now deceased, her words of love fill my heart and ease the ache.
Our friendship reminds me that when I reach out in love, even when there is no response, I am telling another of their eternal worth. Maybe a simple text, unexpected gift, or voicemail is the precise thing someone needs to get through a difficult moment, even when I don’t know what precisely is happening in their life.
Maya Angelou said: ” Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”
As the years have flowed past, Cortina has moved with me from home to home, from one experience to the next. I was a newlywed college student when we first moved together. The next time we moved I was just 21 years old and about to become a mother for the first time. (Twins!!) We moved 4 more times before our biggest move to date, from Canada to the United States. Through dramatic upheavals and joyfully events, she has gazed down steadfastly from the top shelf of my bookcase.
Twenty years ago, we moved one more time; this time to our country home. Each time I moved, I discarded more of my childhood memorabilia. Today it all fits -almost -into one box. Somehow though, I could not part with this pretty little doll.
These days when I write I look at Cortina, and smile. The giver of the gift has been encouraging my love of words since third grade. How thankful I am that I’ve been blessed with this beautiful friendship!
The sweet smell of incense
can make you feel good,
but true friendship
is better still.
Proverbs 27:9 CEV
